"Let your Creative Sprinkles flow" That's what the Splenda packet told me to do this morning when I was fixin my coffee..(I tried to Google a photo of this saying, did you know amazon sales artifical sugar? Interesting) I basically add a little coffee to my creamer and sweetner. Actually, I didnt take up drinking coffee really until I started my new job and had to wake up a whole hour and a half earlier. Last night, I thought I'd act as a complete loser and go to bed at 9:20, only to wake up even more tired. I'll stick with my 11:30 to 12p bedtime and just deal with the snooze button when it comes on at 6:15.
Let my creative sprinkles flow, ha..Is this like pixie dust? I felt like Tinker Bell was about to wave her wand over my head and I'd feel a jolt of excitement and come up withe the most amazing new business presentation ever...not true. I guess my sprinkles fell to the floor cause it took an entire Mug of coffee to get me started.
I decided to turn on my ipod, what amazing song would be starting my day, "The Perfect Girl" by JB & The Moonshine Band. Here's the video...Maybe you should digest this before I rip it apart.
Let me just say, I like this song, I really do..otherwise I wouldnt have paid 99 cents on itunes for it. But after Splenda told me to let me creative sprinkles flow....i decided to fully analyze this song and I think JB is crazy..There is no perfect girl....His desperate plea to find her is quite amuzing, but here's the breakdown..
Verse one:
"All alone the other I get to drinking and thinking about the woman of this old world,
Well I known quite a few but between me and you I ain't never met the perfect girl,
They either ain't that fun or way too young or they ain't got a lick of sense
Well I dunno if she exist but I'm making up a list that I'm checking 'em all against"
Ha..JB, have you been around the world? Have you tried every ethnicity..just sayin, maybe you like asians or canadians..have you been there? You might have better luck. What's fun? Fun is relative, some people think fixing a rubix cube is fun, personally I dont..who has that time and why would you even care, I enjoy twisting it in to a worse position then when I got it. Fun could be swiming with sharks...Rob Drydek did this once on his show because he wanted to create another action figure..Just sayin, before you say people aren't fun..maybe we need to judge your idea of fun... "Ain't got a lick of sense" I wont argue with this line because there are some pretty stupid girls out there.. I'm not here to judge but there are quite a few who's elevator doesnt go to the top floor....so maybe you should start a list...But I'm not sure this list is the best...
(Chorus)
She gotta be five foot eleven
She smells like heaven
She was born in eighty six or maybe eighty seven
She got full intention of getting her P.H.D.
She got a big ol' dually
A countrified booty
She's a certified bonified cold blooded cutie
If anybody knows where the perfect girl might be
Won't you tell her bout me
Five foot eleven! Are you a giant? That's a pretty tall girl..you sure you can handle all that? I hope she smells like heaven, at five foot eleven half of her body is already in heaven. YOu want her to drive a dually? How many hot chicks you seen drivin a dually? Maybe I heard this wrong and its supposed to say big ol boobies..cause that would make sense. And you want her to be cold blooded? I'm just so confused right now.
Verse 2
Well I don't mean to sound picky but relationships are tricky and I'm looking for a perfect fit,
I want a smoking hot honey with a whole lot of money who's favorite thing is sharing it,
Well you can't really miss her hell she may be your sister but whoever she might be,
You'd be a real life saver if you do me one favor and put in a good word for me
Fair enough..you need a perfect fit, now, you want a smokin hot honey ---but she needs to drive a dually, you want her to have money to share with you...Are you a loser? do you not want to work? I mean, are you going to share your money with her? or your love? ha...ok. Like I'd put in a good word to my sister or friend about a guy who doesnt have a job and wants to spend their money, not to mention..none of my friends drive duallys. A truck maybe but not a dually, and if you meant big ol boobies, I've totally jacked this up...
(Chorus)
She gotta be five foot eleven
She smells like heaven
She measures thirty six twenty four thirty seven
She got full intention of financially supporting me
She got some big ol' dually
A countrified booty
And she don't get mad if I watch dirty movies
If anybody knows where the perfect girl might be
Won't you tell her bout me
O here we go.."Full intention of financially supporting (you)".....ha. You def dont have a job and you're never going to get one. I sure hope you can offer up some good lovin. Dirty movies...i mean, whatev..some girls really hate this but lets be real we're all human..you're a grown adult. I mean as Alan from hangover would say "It's frowned upon like masturbating on an airplane" but..it's not against the law..haha. I love that movie. Won't you be part of my wolfpack?
You can tell her that I'm all alone and to call me if she would
You can tell her anything as long as it's all good
I hope your hot, cause I dont know what good I would tell her, it appears your vein and dont have a job....you've got to have something else to bring to the table..
(Chorus)
Well She gotta be five foot eleven
She smells like heaven
Let's me do what I want to twenty four seven
She got full intention of letting me be me
And you know she got some real big boobies
A countrified booty
And she thinks cleaning house is a woman's duty
If anybody knows where the perfect girl might be
Won't you tell her bout me
Let you do what you want to 24/7..So this means a couple hours watching dirty movies..ha..I agree, you should be you, but if you think homegirl is going to financially support you and do the dishes and clean you are some kind of crazy? If she is bringing home the bacon you better be cooking it and cleaning it up when your done....
Ol JB, there is no perfect girl and if you think you found her and she meets these requirements? She might be crazy and you can just cross her off the list..
I'm confused, from what I gather, You want a hot redneck girl with a big butt who drives a big truck and lets you watch dirty movies. Also, most tall girls are skinny and don't have big butts. I mean..I'm from the country..a rural area...now that I think about it, I might be able to find someone that fits your description..ha..
All that said..super cute song. It just cracks me up as does the video that you boys have your "ideal" lady..I hope you find her..and when you do..please post pictures!
And JB if you read this.dont judge my grammar or spelling errors. I assure you my elevator goes to the top floor...I just dont care..ha
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