Welcome back, it's been a while since I've written a blog..or as I like to think a story about the random sh*t, that is my life. I've been busy, and lazy, but every time I visit my family I get inspired to write about my experiences. So after a trip to the homestead - AKA Mayberry this am, here goes.
Rewind about 3 weeks, I'm at my parents house in the living room and I hear my dad yell, WTF.....Not the acronym...but all 3 words. Dad stop talking like that I yelled at him. What's wrong? From the bedroom, I hear..."this computer is screwed up again, come fix it" Now, my dad thinks because I can turn on a computer and am pretty business savvy, this somehow correlates to an IT genius and I can fix anything. Not True.
I'm on my way. Dad, your computer is dead. The hard drive has blown...When there isn't a power source connected to your computer and its still flashing..some thing is way wrong. Besides, this thing is 7 years old anyway. And the only thing you use it for is to play on the Internet.
Just Fix it. he says..Dad, I cant. Well, I'm buying another one then. Fine...But you have an attitude and I didn't come to visit an attitude so I am leaving.
Fast forward, we finally got dad a new computer. He's been "jonesing" ..like a drug addict without their crack for 3 weeks, for his yahoo mail he can barely check. So, Friday night I came over to set up the computer Staples sold him.
Fastforward again till this morning. I went over at his request to set up the printer we forgot to set up and to fix his "favorites" this is the only way he know how to get to the sites he likes.
Let me give you a little bit of background on my dad so you don't think he is a total loser. My dad was raised in the country, with a work hard play hard attitude and never went to college. He is a Blue Collar worker and is a Welder and really just a refined redneck. He's not really had much of a use for computers and therefore, never bothered to learn. Except from teacher ASHLEY.
To compensate for his lack of knowledge, he thought he needed a state of the art computer with surround sound and a 26 in monitor.
So today, I went in, I fixed some things and then I hear...."Can you show me how to send an email." DAD! I have shown you 50 times. Write it down. I'm trying at this point not to get upset. He really just doesn't know. OK, go to your favorites. You see where I put your yahoo mail? Yes..ok..go there. He does know how to check it, look at the weather and the lottery numbers.
New, do you see N -E-W. Now, I'm in your contacts, start to type my name and it will pop up. I see him get the pointer finger out "A - S -H" Stop..see. Click my name. Now what he says. In the subject line you would write what you want to talk about. Say it's my car,.."C-A--------(as i see his finger circling like a bullseye) R"
In the big box you click and type whatever you want to me! "m-y c-a-r" This has taken a goood two minutes to find all the letters. Then you press send. Ok, how do i know it sent? Dad..Read that---it says "message sent" .....ok, ok ok...I got it. It will come to my phone in just a min, u will see. Your PHONE? YES dad..my phone. "That's sick" he says..why? ya'll act like your phone is a drug. It is..what else do you you need dad? Can you show me how to send a picture? Nope...I sure cant...That's above my skill level isnt it, he said. Can we just master the email first dad? ok, "I love you sis" ..goodness.
After that lesson, i decided to go to visit my granny. She lives with my parents in the garage. In her own little apt. By this time its about 1p. I walked in and she was on her chair in her robe, nightgown and slippers..eating. O, you just now having breakfast. No, she said..this is lunch. Mamaw, your in your pajamas..So? your point... It's 1pm, when did you get up..o well I guess about 9. Are you going to put some clothes on? There in there laid out on the bed, I've thought about it. I bet you don't even have underpants on do you... NOPE.
O mamaw, your a mess I told her. She responded.."Will you cut my toenails?" She is my mamaw..I said, ugh...I guess. I'll spare you the details because it was pretty gross. But, I went in to her bedroom to find the clippers. They are on the dresser...I walked over to the dresser to see a ton of coins rolled. I started to count. $10, $20....$60, $70...I hear, "i dont have that much"..YES YOU DO...$85, $90, $91, - $96....YOu have $96 in rolled coins mamaw...what are you doing with this. Well, I'm taking it to the bank dont you think. Dont get hateful with me I told her. I'll cut that toe off.
I also found a necklace on the dresser I wanted just before i came back out for the toes! Mamaw, they are like claws..Well isnt that why I asked you to cut them, she said..Ha.. OK smarty pants. Sit still or I'll take a whole toe!
As I started to leave, I said..can you put some clothes on please. I told you I might..I thought about putting a pair of pants on. How bout brushing your hair....What for, no one's going to see me. O, mamaw....you silly girl.
I went over to give her a hug kissed her on the head and said you know I love you...i cut your dang toenails. .....I said it again, Bye..I love you. Her response.."uh huh."
Moral of today's story, appreciate life and everything in it. No matter how annoying that family member is, no matter how crazy they are, no matter if they ask you to cut their toenails. Appreciate every moment..and remember, life's too short to take too seriously..have fun with it and if you dont want to wear underpants like my granny or put clothes on until after lunch..dont!
